


Flares

by anri



Series: YouTuber au [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Youtuber AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-15 20:43:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7237813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anri/pseuds/anri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo's always taken care of Kenma, even at the worst points. And Kenma's always tried to take care of Kuroo, no matter how difficult things may be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been having a difficult time keeping a hold on my chronic pain through exams, I've had two or three fits every week and it's exhausting and I feel sorry for myself, so I'm translating that into a small kuroken youtube au thing

Kuroo has always been careful around Kenma - even before he was sick, he'd always treated him carefully and gently. He knew Kenma was scared of contact, and he knew he'd been burned before. Sometimes he lay awake, thinking what kind of father could have hurt their child the way Kenma's hurt him. But he just...couldn't imagine it. Kenma was intelligent, funny, and stunning. Kuroo couldn't imagine anybody feeling nothing but love for him. It didn't seem possible. Kuroo had never met Kenma's dad, and in some way, he wanted to, just to understand what kind of person could do that. He lay awake, Kenma curled up next to him, and Kuroo turned to watch him, small and slight, his chest rising and falling as he breathed gently. Kuroo loved him so much. He wanted to protect him from everything, he wanted to go back, before his father had started to hit him, and he wanted to stop it before it even began. What kind of person would Kenma be if he'd never been hurt? He should have been able to do something. He should be able to do something to make it better. He was Kenma's husband, and they'd vowed to be together, for richer and for poorer, until death did they part. Kenma had lived and dealt with so much, and he was unable to help him with any of it. He wasn't able to fix anything for him. Kuroo rolled over, nestling into Kenma's back. He kissed the back of his neck, wrapping his arms around his waist. Kenma stirred, moaning gently as he woke. "Tetsu...?" he said sleepily, raising his head.

"I love you," Kuroo whispered, kissing his shoulder. Kenma pulled himself up into a sitting position. His hoodie was big on him, and hung off his small frame, the sleeves rolled up so they didn't hang over his hands. "Kuro, what's wrong?" he brushed his hand over Kuroo's cheek gently, rubbing small circles on his cheek. He knew that Kuroo could over think too much, he had a tendency to become anxious, depressed. Maybe that's what made them such a good couple. This wasn't the first time that Kuroo had woken late at night, when the thoughts in his head were too much. Kenma did what he could to make him feel better, but he never felt like it was enough. Kuroo sat up, opening his legs so his feet rested on the bed either side of Kenma's hips, and he rested his head on his shoulder, his heads stroking up and down Kenma's arms. "I'm so sorry, Kenma, I just-" he whimpered, and Kenma bit his lip, wrapping his arms around Kuroo as tight as he could. "It's okay, Kuro. It's okay, it's not your fault," he whispered, pressing his lips to Kuroo's jaw. Kuroo lifted his head, his eyes shining with tears, his lips quivering. "Do you mean that?" he asked, his voice wavering. Kenma felt his heart clench at the sound.

"Of course I do," he breathed, brushing his hands through Kuro's hair, pulling his fringe back so he could see all of his face. Kuroo looked so young like this, in the dim light of the bedroom, his hair pulled back, his face shining with tears as he tried to hold himself together. Kenma pressed his lips to Kuroo's forehead. "I love you," he whispered reassuringly. He watched him, assessing him, before he pressed his lips to his. "I love you," he said again, as he held Kuroo's jaw firmly, bringing him closer, deeper into the kiss. Kuroo let him, and he leaned in closer, sitting on Kenma's legs, allowing him to be held.

After a few minutes, Kuroo pulled away, lips shining, his chest heaving for breath. He leaned back, hesitating, before he pulled his sleep shirt up over his head, discarding it on their pillows. He paused for a moment, before pulling at Kenma's hoodie. Kenma allowed him to pull it up over his head, followed by his t-shirt. He shivered in the cool air, but Kuroo was burning hot. Kuroo's hands raked over Kenma's chest and skin, and Kuroo held him by the shoulders, as Tetsurou leaned in, resting his head on Kenma's chest, listening to his head beat. He rested his hands on Kenma's hips, clinging tight to him. Kenma waited for him to look up again before they kissed. Deep and gentle, Kuroo clung to him so tightly, like he was scared to let go. Kenma sucked on Kuroo's lower lip, and Kuroo sighed. "Do you want to?" Kenma asked. Kuroo watched him for a moment, like he was scared to want. Kenma let his hands fall to play with the waistband of Kuroo's boxers, trying to tell him that it was fine if he did. Kuroo ran his hands up Kenma's torso again, feeling his ribs. Kenma was so cold. He let his hand rest over Kenma's heart, feeling the thump underneath his palm. Kenma entwined his fingers with Kuroo's, and only then did he look up. Kenma's hair hung in his face, and he tucked it back behind his ear. Kuroo swallowed, nodding minutely.

Akaashi and Bokuto always talked about sex crudely, talked about their shared experience, over-shared everything. And  yet, Kuroo and Kenma could never do that. No matter how close Kuroo and Bokuto were - he never seemed able to talk about it with him. Sex was one of the only times when Kenma held him together, when Kuroo allowed himself to be taken care of by somebody else. It was something personal, that couldn't just be discussed as one would the weather. It was so much more than that.

 

Kenma didn't want to get up the next day. He lay naked and shivering under the covers, but unwilling to move. Kuroo dressed him, letting him lay in bed. He brought breakfast up, but Kenma didn't want to eat. His stomach hurt. That was when Kuroo began to get worried. He stayed in bed with Kenma, watched him as he played Pokémon on his DS, suggesting names for the ones they caught. He read when Kenma napped, and brought up food and snacks, pleading with Kenma to eat even just a little. Kenma called in sick at work, and Kuroo called in too so he could watch Kenma. His boss was understanding, he always was in these situations.

They kept expecting it to get better, like it usually did. But it didn't. Kenma was losing weight - Kuroo was noticing it as he helped him dress. And he was panicking more and more as Kenma's skin paled, as his cramps got worse, and he had to watch this happen all over again. The entire house was on edge, praying that Kenma was going to make a recovery. And it was early in the morning a few days after, as Kuroo sat with Kenma as he was sick, and he noticed the red, his mind went into panic mode. He shot up, storming out of the bathroom, rapping on Bokuto and Akaashi's door, demanding they get up and drive them to the hospital.

They didn't need to be told twice.

Kenma was too tired to argue with them, which was when they knew it really was bad, and Akaashi's car was filled with palpable tension as they drove. Bokuto sat twisted in the passenger seat, watching Kenma. Kuroo held him in his lap, trying to keep himself together for the sake of Kenma. He had to pull himself together now. Kenma needed him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's rlly bad sorry lol we'll pretend this one doesnt exist in this au  
> But on the other hand I *shimmies chest* finished all 21 of my exams.  
> I only had like 7 fits are you proud of me :')

Akaashi and Bokuto insisted on staying with them as Kenma was admitted again. It was nerve-wracking, and Bokuto held Kuroo's hand as Kenma finally slept. It had been a long night, and a long week for Kenma, and he really needed the sleep. The sun was rising, and Kenma looked so small, buried in the fabric and folds of his hoodie. He looked so frail again, and Kuroo didn't know whether his eyes were burning from a lack of sleep or from the fear. He'd seen Kenma fade before. He'd seen him shrink and become a fraction of who he was, and he was terrified of that happening again. He didn't know if he could face that again. He would stay with Kenma, of course he would, he couldn't leave him, but watching him shut down again...it felt impossible. Bokuto rubbed Kuroo's hand, "it'll be fine," he murmured. Bokuto leaned closer, and Kuroo sighed, leaning his head against Bokuto's shoulder. Kenma stayed quiet, curled up on the bed. Akaashi leaned closer, brushing his hand through Kenma's hair, comforting him, soothing him.

The doctor brushed past into Kenma's section of the room, and he stood there, explaining the situation. A flare up, again. He was going to have a tube put in, and a liquid diet for a little while. Kenma woke up to hear it, and Kuroo could feel his palpable disappointment. He hated the feeding tube. He was lucky he didn't need surgery, but.., it wasn't going to stay that way for long. He knew that. Kenma knew that. He was going to get worse eventually. Kuroo bit his lip, watching Kenma's face. He leaned closer, sitting on his bed, and Kenma sat still, leaning into him. He sighed, gripping hold of Kuroo's shirt. That was all. All he did as he realised. And Kuroo knew he was devastated. He had the tube put in not long after, and the other three waited outside for him.

He left the room with his head hung low, his hair covering the section of his face covered by the tape. Kuroo held him close for a hug, kissing the top of his head. "You alright?" he muttered, holding him close.

"I wanna go home and sleep," Kenma said.

 

So they did. And then the next day, Kenma wanted to sleep a little bit more. And the day after that, and the day after that. He was on sick leave, there was nothing else he wanted to do. But Kenma's YouTube channel had to move forward, he had to review games, play, he had a weekly quota to meet. He'd been gone for two weeks. He'd done it before - when his channel was a lot younger. But he couldn't do it again. "I don't want to play," Kenma muttered, hugging a pillow close to him. Kuroo sighed, "You have to issue a statement - people are going to get worried, Kenma," he urged. "You can't just disappear on that many people."

Kenma sighed, "I don't...wanna say anything about it. I _don't_ want to talk about it."

Kuroo shrugged his shoulders, "Then don't...but you can't just disappear. Say you're sick, you don't have to say what with." Kenma pulled firmly at the blanket, pulling it over his head. Kuroo watched him, as he sat back against the headboard. "Why don't you wanna tell people?"

"Because it's embarrassing."

"Why?"

"I just...what if people treat me different? After they find out?"

"You don't deal with your fans on a regular basis."

"But what if people ask questions?" Kenma uncurled from the duvet, peering out at Kuroo over the top of it.

"Well, then you can decide whether you answer them or you  politely tell them to mind their own business," Kuroo leaned forward, brushing his hand through Kenma's hair. "I don't wanna do it on my own," Kenma whispered quietly. Kuroo shrugged,

"Kenma, when I married you, I said I took you in sickness and in health, didn't I?"

"Well, yeah,"

"And I do. I'm staying with you no matter what, unless you say you don't want me. You don't have to do it on your own." He leaned down, brushing his lips against Kenma's lightly.

The smaller man ran a hand down Kuroo's cheek. "Thank you," he whispered.

"No need to thank me,"

"You're too good for me,"

"You're too good for _me_ ,"

Kenma smiled - the first smile he'd made in a while. "Shut up, I'm trying to pay you a compliment here." Kuroo smiled back, kissing him on the cheek. "Do you just wanna cuddle for a while? Before we have to get up and plan that video for you."

"You were serious about it?"

"Of course I'm serious about it Kenma, I'm not letting you disappear on that many people like that, they'll all be sick with worry."

Kenma sighed, rolling over so his back was pressed against Kuroo's chest. "I don't care about them,"

"That's a mean thing to say about your fans."

"They don't care about me though, just the games I play."

"I don't think that's quite true, though," Kuroo whispered, kissing his neck. Kenma was silent, but intertwined their hands, holding it against his chest. "When I get better," he said quietly, twisting to look at Kuroo, "I want to have another wedding. A proper one. With flowers, and our friends and rings."

Kuroo stammered, his voice catching in his throat. "Are you serious?"

Kenma paused, "Of course. I love you, Kuro," he rolled over so they were facing one another. Kenma's skin looked so pale, the tape and tube sticking out on his skin. "I know I don't say it much...but I didn't think you'd stay, when I got ill. And I'm really glad you did," he licked his lips, his lower lip trembling. "I'm really happy you stayed with me, and I'm so glad you married me. I couldn't ask for anybody better and I love you so much." His voice cracked, and it almost hurt to hear Kenma sound so broken. Kuroo pressed his forehead to his, breathing out. "I love you, Kenma. I would never leave,"

Kenma smiled, "I know you won't."

 

They woke later, and Akaashi was in the kitchen preparing dinner. "You two look very lovey-dovey," Bokuto commented, grinning at the two of them. Kuroo sighed, "He's my husband, what are we, twelve again?"

"God knows I would be saying the same damn things if I knew you as a twelve year old. It's so weird how you've only had each other."

"I don't want anybody else," Kuroo said, squeezing Kenma's hand.

Bokuto made retching sounds, smiling at them.

"Ah shit," Akaashi cursed quietly, and Kenma withdrew from Kuroo's side to check on him. With that, Kuroo flopped onto the sofa next to Bokuto, sighing contentedly.

"Kenma said we should renew our vows," he said breathily, and Bokuto convulsed in his seat.

" _Seriously_?"

"Yeah, I know!"

"I call bes-"

"You're best man, I know," Kuroo said, holding his hand out for a high-five. Bokuto slapped his hand, relishing the sting. " _Yes_ , best man at both your weddings! I win!" he cheered.

 

"What's wrong?" Kenma asked as he approached Akaashi. He ran a hand through his hair,

"I thought I was cooking for four people...I made too much, shit," Akaashi said, looking down, embarrassed.

"It's fine. Bokuto and Kuroo could probably eat my portion easy, anyway,"

"They shouldn't though,"

"Not everyone has to keep fit and thin for their job though, don't be so weight-conscious. It won't kill them," Kenma dismissed, leaning on the counter.

They couldn't help but feel self conscious as they sat together for dinner, and Kenma sat on his own on the settee, his DS in his hands. He looked so isolated from them all. Kuroo tried to make him feel better that night, pressing kisses to Kenma's neck and cheeks. "I'm fine, really, Kuro,"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'll just...eat a lot when I get the tube taken off. The formulas fine, I don't mind it," he answered, nuzzling into Kuroo. "Do you wanna just play something easy tomorrow, and film that?"

Kuroo looked down at him, "Is that what you wanna do?"

"Yeah,"

"Then sure, let's go for it. Do you want help editing it, too?"

"I should be okay. You should work on your own stuff... you know how you said you can't disappear on that many people and all."

"Don't be rude, Kenma."

He smiled, snuggling down deeper into their bed, "Night Tetsu,"

Kuroo stammered, flushing at the sudden  use of nicknames. Kenma smiled into the blankets, knowing he'd won.

 

Kenma was different when he was playing his video games for YouTube. He was quiet when playing them alone, his face tensing up, sometimes letting out an exasperated sigh, but in his videos he was so funny. He let out fantastic one liners and cutting critique about a game, and even if Kuroo had no idea what was going on, it was good to watch just for Kenma. They started a new series recently, where the two of them played together, and it mostly consisted of Kenma telling Kuroo he was shit at games. It was fun, even if Kuroo was completely awful and barely had a grip on the controls, let alone the actual game. He was in the back of a lot of Kenma's videos anyway, reading description out loud or criticizing a character. It was a whole new experience playing the games himself, and yeah, Kenma was right. He did suck. But compared to somebody who was asked in a professional manner to test and review games...of course he couldn't compare. And he was fine with that.

It was at least a week later, when Kenma finished his slow editing process and posted it when he started to frown again. Kuroo watched him as he leaned over the laptop, his eyebrows knit together. "What is it?"

"People are asking," was all Kenma replied, turning the screen to face him.

_\- What's with the tube on Kenma's face?? >??? :0_

_\- Is Kenma sick? WHat's wrong senpai ;_;_

_-Cool vid and hilarious as usual but....what's with the tube?_

Kuroo scrolled down, and nearly all of the comments were about it. Kenma hid his face even more inside his hoodie. Kuroo sighed. "Looks like you're gunna have to say something after all."

"I don't wanna..."

"Do you want me to?" He offered, and Kenma sighed, tapping his hands on the laptop.

"Do you want to?"

"I don't want to see you upset and worried. This is a hard time anyway, so if I can do something to make it easier, I will."

Kenma paused for a moment, before nodding slowly. "Thank you..."

"Don't mention it, give me the laptop."

Kenma leaned in close to him, holding onto his arm. "When are we gunna have our second wedding?" he asked, and Kuroo sighed, "I thought you were kidding?"

"Why would I be kidding? I seriously do wanna go through that again."

"We'll start saving money, alright?"

"Who do you think should be on my wedding party? Hinata's my best friend, but Akaashi was really hurt."

"Why don't you have both?"

"Can I?"

"It's your wedding, Kenma, for God's sake, do what you want."

Kenma smiled, leaning in as Kuroo typed a message out, retyping it and adding things where Kenma wanted them added. It was times like this, when Kenma was very ill that Kuroo remembered the times when he was in hospital, and they were all scared about whether he would make it or not. Even though he knew Kenma would survive this, he always had that fear of being left alone. And even though he should have been supporting Kenma, Kenma always managed to support him back. Even when he didn't know he was doing it. Kenma had always been there to support him, even when he didn't know he was.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Kenma has Crohn's Disease, if anyone's going to ask.


End file.
